I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
