I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
