sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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