I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
