My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
