Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
