apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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