i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
