Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize