Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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