I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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