Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
