Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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