What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
