She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
