The maid of honor just puked.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
