I faked an abortion last night.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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