I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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