Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
