There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
