and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize