11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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