You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize