No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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