things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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