I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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