new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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