you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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