She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Come on in and take your pants off
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