did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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