You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
