think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
