why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my being single is dangerous.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
