No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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