That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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