fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
