I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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