marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
