Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
