He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My hand turned me down
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
