So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
