I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
