I wish I only lived at night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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