Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
