im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize