Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize