Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
