Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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