he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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