ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize