imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
