no, he came in my armpit
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
