Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
