Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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