I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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