I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
