summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
