alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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