Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
