if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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