I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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