i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
